Carolyn Kan

Growing up I was a normal child. I lead a normal life with normal friends and caring parents. I did not know Jesus and I did not attend church, except for the seldom occasiona like Christmas or Easter. As a child, I had morals. I knew the difference between right and wrong, bad and good.

Before:
Growing up I was a normal child. I lead a normal life with normal friends and caring parents. I did not know Jesus and I did not attend church, except for the seldom occasional like Christmas or Easter. As a child, I had morals. I knew the difference between right and wrong, bad and good.

When I reached Grade 7, things started to change. I had a new group of unfamiliar friends. I didn’t care about very much. Experimenting with drinking and smoking was not a big deal to me. I had a very “worldly” attitude on relationships and dating.

How:
Throughout my life, my Aunt Teresa and cousin Connie had always been Christians. When I was younger, they would tell me about their personal experiences and bible stories. I occasionally went to church with them. When I was around seven, my aunt asked if I wanted to accept Jesus as my savior who died for my sins. In a way, I understood what she was saying, so I agreed to invite Jesus into my heart. But I still did not understand many important aspects. I wasn’t aware of having a personal relationship with God and I wasnÆt aware of living a Christian lifestyle.

Sometime after that, I started to go to my cousin’s new church, Pacific Grace. At first, I didn’t really want to attend. I didn’t know anyone my age and so I stayed around Connie, but everyone was older than me. As I result, I was disinterested in going to church. But somehow, God brought me back. I began coming regularly. Progressingly, I learned more about living a Christian life and what it meant to have a personal relationship with God.

By the summer of 1996, I began understanding what God had done for me. By early spring of last year I was really getting to know God better and better. Through events like, Praise and Worships, Coffee Houses, and youth rallys I was encouraged to pursue my walk with God.

After:
The summer of last year, I had God in my life. My perspective would undertake change. Through hard times I would always realize that it was all part of God’s plan and there was a reason for why things happened. My outlook on dating, smoking, alcohol and other issues altered to a more Godly nature. My approach towards life has been changing and will continue to be for my future. At Winter Conference 1997, I saw and realized the sin that Jesus had to die for. It doesn’t matter how little the sin is, a sin is SIN. This really touched me. I felt ashamed but God’s grace took away that guilt.

This one song I sang at teens camp last year and winter conference perfectly describes how I feel. I Will Never Be, by Geoff Bullock. It writes: “I will never be the same again. I can never return; I’ve closed the door; I can walk the path, I’ll run the race, And I will never be the same again.”  Although I face struggles, trying to live a life of integrity at times, I know that if I stay close by God’s side he will bless me with everything I need and the opportunity to serve him.

Tags: Carolyn, experiences, Gen X, Gen Y, GenXperiences, Kan, testimony