Ivan Yuen

Have you ever had that empty feeling inside of you that reaches all the way down into your deepest hole in your heart? Have you ever wondered what your purpose is in life?

About a year ago I was going through a time where I had lots of friends and I would spend lots of time with them. If my friends weren’t around, I would sit in front of the TV as a substitute. Last thing that I wanted was to be alone by myself. I think I know why…

One day as I came home from hanging out with my friends, I walked into my room and suddenly I began to feel a loneliness, a very deep loneliness, as though as I had no part in this universe. I began thinking and trying to find a way to get rid of it. I guess I spent time with friends to cover the hole I had felt. It worked for a short period of time but it never covered it completely. I had even contemplated suicide as an easy way out to all my problems. I thought, “Hey, it could be so easy if I just stuck a knife into my chest. I mean, everything that made life difficult would all disappear. It’s not anyone’s fault. No one’s going to miss me.”

Later into the year at around June, I went to a Rally called Go, Mad. It was there where a speaker was saying that God wants us to join his army in the fight against evil. He wanted us to join Him to fight for righteousness, a fight that led to everlasting life.

On that night, that very hour, I thought to myself, “Hey what did I have to lose? I mean my life isn’t the greatest right now. Why don’t I give it a chance?” I got up, out from my seat and walked up to the front where I accepted Christ to be my master and Savior. The moment up there was one I had not had in a long time. It was a feeling as though I was washed clean and relieved of my burdens. Of what, I didn’t know just yet….

I expected that once I accepted Christianity that I would be a totally different person. I thought that life would drastically change from the way I knew it. I realized that I had accepted a relationship with Christ and it was up to me to choose what kind of relationship with God I wanted. Then I asked Him to totally take control of my life on July 1st, 1995 at 1:40 in the morning.

The time is the present and now I yearn to learn as much as I can about God. I am content on being alone, being single and being ostracized (def: to be banished from a group, society, etc) if God tells me so. It may seem that my life is worse off now but I tell you, nothing beats the love that Christ has for us. I have never again felt the loneliness that I had once experienced. From the moment that I accepted Christ, I have never again felt the need to take my life. I can honestly tell you, Jesus Christ is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE.

To anyone out there that has been wondering whether God has plans for you. I ask you to take a chance on Him. I guarantee you that He will not let you down. He died on a cross so that we could enter the heaven. He gave His only son to save us from eternity in Hell. If you’re ever feeling like you’re all alone in this crazy world. I have news for you You’re not!

Tags: experiences, Gen X, Gen Y, GenXperiences, Ivan, testimony, Yuen